Thursday, February 25, 2010

the brits didn't need us to tell them to fight the french

so, cracked had an article about how the founding fathers were pains in the king's ass. well, sure they were.

however, I must take exception for blaming us for dragging the british into the french and indian war. HELLO?! we WERE the british at the time. so needless to say, we started throwing down on the french out of pure instinct.

word got back across the atlantic and with a great tally ho! as many people who could rush over and join in (the british empire had a lot to do back then, so it wasn't everyone) we were quickly joined.

if people still fought with swords, the british and french would be fighting right now. it was, like, a hobby or whatever. but, after the invention of machine guns, they called a permanent truce.

so, the king was surely GRATEFUL we found another reason to fight with the french. hehe :)

really, the people who probably shouldn't have been dragged into it were the indians. if they'd known what a bunch of bullshit as usual it was, they surely would have opted out.


Allen the Duck Guy said...

cracked has been in a long slump of unfunny articles.
a lot of people overlook the fact that early americans were actually from different cultures with great histories of fighting. britain vs french, britain vs irish/scottish, etc.

shampoo said...

they have been letting the same person write a lot of "historical" stuff. the thing about history... it's more complicated than that. after a while, it gets tiresome to think "well, this is wrong but it's a comedy site". when every entry on a list has you thinking that... (i have read some other stuff by the same guy)

shampoo said...

but yeah, people are clueless about history. like the people who settled the south and the people who settled the north fucking hated each other. that is why they didn't settle in the same areas. haha

Allen the Duck Guy said...

the puritans hated everyone. they thought every one else was going to hell. all that 'fleeing religious persecution' stuff is bullshit. they left england because they believed it to be a modern sodom and gamorra and didn't want to go down with the ship. so they came to america and settled in their weird ass ways, including bizarre religious practices and incest. freaky bunch of folks, those puritans...

shampoo said...

please to see everything written by h.p. lovecraft. hehe