Thursday, January 21, 2010

ed-nos, eating disorder not otherwise specified

ever seen a skinny person who DOESN'T THINK THEY ARE FAT, eats every day, but just seems a little too thin? well, they'll tell you they have a high metabolism (probably true in many case), eat food right in front of you (and not leave your presence afterward), and even be an acceptable weight (sometimes). so, how's this an eating disorder?

if they lean toward anorexia, they will consistently not eat quite enough calories per day. some days they'll eat plenty, some days they won't, some days they'll fast.

the people around them aren't lying when they say "but they eat all the time." this form of ed has less of a compulsion behind it. so, the person can eat if they're hungry or if they "have" to.

the person also have a fairly accurate idea of how they look although they may get a little obsessed about certain details (they want to weight less than a particular number, they want to weigh themselves frequently, they count something... calories, fat grams, portions, whatever).

the person with this is motivated differently than a classic anorexic or bulemic (etc). they have some symptoms in common and others they really don't have.

it almost seems like this shouldn't be a problem because you aren't behaving in an extreme way. but, unfortunately, it does cause problems because your body doesn't have enough calories to function....

i'm talking about the anorexia version because that's what I have... but, I don't have body dysmorphia, and I never have weighed less than 93 pounds (i weigh more than that now). I never really did anything like bulemia, so I don't understand it as well...
I can understand anorexia only to a certain extent. such as I do get why they're afraid to eat, but why they can't when even they want to is hard for me.

a lot of the official line on anorexia is wrong and is certainly is wrong when it comes to the form I have. so, no one should put too much credence in that.

a lot of ed-nos people want to "fade from view" (if i'm small, they will leave me alone). there can be different reasons for this.

in my case, I was raised with extremely critical people. if it'd only been my parents, maybe it wouldn't have mattered (and my mother wasn't that critical, but she died).

but, I had other family. their attention is never good, so I didn't want it. I wanted them to like me, but I knew NO MATTER WHAT i'd never be good enough... no matter how many high grades I got (you think you're so smart/you're still not good at ---), no matter how many friends I had (they're not your friends/where are they now?), no matter how seriously I took things (yeah, but you still should/you have to why should anyone else care?), no matter how cute I was (infinite criticism here... no outfit is good enough, all aspects could be done better), no matter how many jokes I told (infinite criticism again), no matter how many promotions I got (if people choose not to notice or remember, still infinite criticism)... there was ALWAYS ROOM TO CRITICIZE or make me feel guilty that I had something slightly better than they did (no matter what the circumstances or if i'd even get to keep it).

the reason I mention this is a lot of celebrities probably have something more like this than regular anorexia. but then again, their obsession is going to be fueled by the scrunity on their appearance.

the condition is hard to diagnose, particularly years ago. I went to the doctor with a whole list of symptoms caused by anorexia but I wasn't too skinny. and I had enough energy to show I hadn't skipped a bunch of meals. my teeth were in good shape (which is more bulemia, but still)...

so, we look at someone who's too thin like brittany murphy. yet people around her will say she did eat "all the time."

I don't know what problems she had or didn't have, but she WAS underweight. still, that doesn't mean she was starving herself right in front of everyone. in fact, it's more likely she wasn't.

still being so underweight wasn't good for her... yet, in her profession, she may have been frightened to gain weight, so... if people want to understand what happened to her, they need to check what she actually did not what they think people with eating disorders do.
personally, I don't know all about her case. but someone does.

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