i tried to watch tv today to soothe my nerves and i found that was impossible.
more family crap today. i got beaten down pretty badly. i am so sick of people talking at me. it's just so depressing. i feel so stupid. i think my one sister is lying to me... it makes me feel really bad. i have been told my father didn't want me to have the house because "in six months it wouldn't be worth anything." well, it's been six months.... and it has not yet fallen to the ground. i asked my sister to stop saying that and said he told me something else (he wanted me to have the house). why would she keep saying that to me?
i keep getting told "you had more opportunity than anyone" and that basically, i fucked up. well, i graduated from college. so, there was that. i have worked in jobs in my field that paid decently, but they were.. well, extremely stressful. except for going to college, i don't know what else i've had... i am sure they could give me a list of the ways i've fucked up and generally been a rotten as hell excuse for a human being. but, then they "love" me "dearly." i suppose that's why no one ever calls me or comes to see me without bitching me out the entire time they're here.
i hope my parents aren't seeing this mess....