Sunday, March 7, 2010

i have some issues with the razzies...

o.k., here is my thing! getting to complain about crappy movies! sign me up! but, i am disappointed! with a few glorious exceptions, some of these are... well, i know for a fact there is way worse stuff that needs to be called out. but anyway, here we go (let me know what you think!)

worst picture: transformers--revenge of the fallen (i haven't seen this, no idea. the first one was silly.)
worst actor(s): the jonas brothers (all 3) for jonas brothers: the 3d experience. (mr. mouse is pissed! and i'm sure they were awful, so this razzi i agree with 100%!)
worst actress: sandra bullock for all about steve (oh, there has to be someone worse than sandra... but, then again, i haven't seen it)
worst screen couple: sandra bullock and bradley cooper for all about steve (still haven't seen it)
worst supporting actor: billy ray cyrus for hannah montana: the movie (YES! i haven't seen it, but billy ray has negative charisma, and can't act... so perfect choice)
worst supporting actress: sienna miller for g.i. joe--the rise of cobra (they made a g.i. joe movie? obviously i haven't seen it, but "perfect catch" has the NEW sienna miller if this one isn't working out)
worst prequel, remake, rip-off or sequel: land of the lost (what? i thought this one was funny. maybe i have poor taste in movies, but i like it)
worst director: michael bay for transformers--revenge of the fallen (wow, is this movie this bad?)
worst screenplay: chren kruyer, robert orci and alex kurtzman for (guess what) transformers--revenge of the fallen (i feel bad putting this one, writers get so little recognition)
worst picture of the decade: battlefield earth (haven't seen it because it's an ode to scientology)
worst actor of the decade: eddie murphy (what?) for adventures of pluto nash (i liked this one), i spy (forgot this one was even made), imagine that (what is this?), meet dave (i thought this one was o.k.--not super awesome, but o.k., but i saw it free), norbit (this did look horrid) and showtime (again, what is this?)
worst actress: paris hilton (is she an actress?) for the hottie and the nottie (haven't seen), house of wax (i thought she did all right in this), and repo--the genetic opera (never heard of it)

first, how could miley cyrus not be mention in this somewhere? it surely can only be because about half of her scenes are with billy ray cyrus who could make paris hilton look like ... crap, i don't have any examples, but a good actress. haha

sandra bullock showed up at the razzie awards with dvds of all about steve so people could rethink their decision. haha, sandra


Allen the Duck Guy said...

the razzies can kiss my ass!!!
dragon ball is the worst movie ever filmed in human history. it should have swept the awards with sickening ease. watching that movie was like having a massive sack of hairy, sweaty dragon balls dripping filth onto your face for an hour and a half. every person in dragon ball should be executed for crimes against humanity. oh my god, that was a shitty movie. it was... breathtakingly horrible. even chow yun fat, normally brilliant, turns in a rotten, embarrassing performance that any high school scene chomper could top!

and on the topic of shitty movies- i don't care how much money it made or how good the critics said it was the remake of Dude Where's My Car, more commonly called the Hangover, was not only not funny, but was tiresome and BORING. it was awful.

Allen the Duck Guy said...

dragon ball was soooo bad. holy shit. i mean it. it was like having a dragon show up and hit you in the balls. in fact, i would rather experience la chiffre's interrogation from casino royale than watch dragon ball again.

seriously, razzies-- wtf? nothing-- NOTHING-- can touch the dread shitfulness of that goddamnedly awful movie.

shampoo said...

i didn't even know about this dragonball movie until a few minutes ago. however, i never really liked the anime, so... making it live action can't improve it. did many people see it?

as far as the hangover, i haven't seen it. but dude, where's my car was funny. so i'll just think about that.

who's your least favorite actors ... besides the cyrus clan?

Allen the Duck Guy said...

leonardo dicaprio is the worst actor in big name movies. i cannot believe that turd gets films. he is dreadful. from getting romantic with a lamp in romeo+juliet to having the worst accent in the history of film in blood diamond (an otherwise great film) to always being the biggest pussy cast in tough guy roles, he sucks. i was an actor for 6 years and i know i am better at it that leo.

as for actress, it's hard to say. halle berry is pretty rotten, jennifer lopez is vomit inducing, and meryl streep is over rated on a cosmic scale. but i'd have to go with angelina jolie. she is terrible. she was okay in the lara croft movies, but that's a really easy role. i'd say she was good in wanted, but that's just lara croft again. in gia she was okay, but i don't think she was acting so much. in good shepherd and changeling- her big acting movies- she is so bad its embarrassing. i mean it. she just doesn;t fit into those movies AT ALL.

both leo and angie do the same sort of acting- yelling for any emotion and otherwise delivering every line the same.

shampoo said...

oh yeah, changeling... "i want MY son back!" haha

i think angie jo and leo are not as good as most of the rest of the people cast in some of these movies. angie seems to do o.k. in movies that are more her speed "lara croft" for example.

leo... i have to say some of his movies i haven't seen....

but romeo + juliet was particularly bad. also, gangs of new york, there was a girl who was tougher than him.

but... i think there may be people worse than these two... overall... unfortunately, i can't think of names... i'll ponder on that...

meryl streep is wearing me out with her "so sought after woman" roles she's doing over and over lately. i have never, ever heard of any guy (except actors paid to say so) who thought she looked good.. even at her best. although i do like her in that one movie with goldie hawn (death becomes her)

Allen the Duck Guy said...

i saw that katheryn bigelow won best director! how cool is that! the first female director in history. oh well, the oscars are good on the resume but are really sort of menaingless.
still- she directed near dark, which is one of the coolest vampire flicks ever made!
redneck vampires forgetting the sun comes up every morning-- gold!!

shampoo said...

omg, near dark has the most gratitiously violent vampires ever. haha

and the dirtiest. (not the christina aguilera version of dirty, the no soap variety)

Anonymous said...

Bigelow also directed the 2nd of James Cameron's really good movies- Strange Days. I'm glad she beat out Mr. "King of the World." James Cameron is wildly overrated. From Aliens, where Marines are proven to be dumber than a lady who's been asleep for 50 years and a little girl to Titanic, where the ship collides with an iceberg larger than Liberty Island (they stare straight up at it from atop decks!), his scripts are always cliched and full of stupid plot holes and his direction is straightfoward, if uninspiring. However, his Special FX are always so bad ass that no one seems to care. Shrug. I'd be remiss not to point out that with 200 or 300 million dollars, Uwe Bolle could make a blockbuster movie.

Anonymous said...

Oh- Cameron's other truly great movie was The Terminator. Easily his best movie, and a true classic.