Saturday, December 19, 2009

the snakemonster: devoid of any semblance of talent

I don't know exactly why, but the people at cracked call miley cyrus the snakemonster. possibly because she has no discernable talent so the only assumption we can make is that she is something evil. like a snakemonster.

yes, I watched her "party in the usa" video. this would also be the first (and I pray the only) time to have heard this "song."

well, I have to apologize all over the place to lady gaga. she is a gorgeously beautiful and fabulous nightengale. talent forms an aura of awesomeness all around her. she also manages not to look like a prostitute being dragged in to nightcourt in her sexy weird outfits.

miley can't sing, she can't dance, she has a bad personality, she can't act, she's not very pretty, she is annoying.
WHY DOES SHE HAVE A CAREER? why?

not only does she have one, but her career has revitalized billy ray's career. I cannot overstate how much I never wanted that to happen.

billy ray can't sing, he acts like a big wooden ham, he has negative charisma... I just can't stand him. I never could. but he's back and they even made a made for tv movie for christmas with him. which means we'll have to see it 65 times per year every year that has a christmas.

also, they are grooming miley's younger sister noah to do whatever miley does. so, pretty soon there will be two of them. plus, miley has a brother who's in a band or whatever.

back to "party in the usa"... it was BEYOND AWFUL. there seems to be something sinister about it.

miley, wearing her usual whorewear, is kicking through the dust and walking by pickup trucks. the place where the video is set looks like a good location for an if you like dirt and desolation in your d├ęcor.

the lyrics are a bit sickening... something about seeing the hollywood sign and being excited. then remembering at the moment she saw it she was listening to a jay-z song.

then she tells us she's nodding her head and moving her hips and there's a party in the usa. it disturbs me and I think it gave me a nightmare.

at the end of the video, miley and her grubby (pretend) friends are in a big old birdcage. miley's standing up on the swing and everyone else is climbing around.

I am afraid. I hope the pristine lady gaga does not associate with such people. say what you will, at least with lady gaga I can usually figure out that i'm listening to someone sing. also, I never have to see lady gaga doing weird things with her dad.

and mind you, lady gaga does things like wear a fetish suit, "bleed" during performances, and carry around a teacup. but, she actually has a pretty voice when you get a chance to hear it. and I have never heard her screeching about her purity ring.

this reminds me, one of the jonas brothers (kevin? I don't know, the one oldest maybe) was prancing about in an aleister crowley t-shirt. now, I have never once run across an aleister crowley shirt in a store, so he had to deliberately obtain this shirt. I wonder what his pal aleister crowley would think about purity rings.

2 comments:

shampoo said...

i saw a live version "party in the usa." pretty much everyone can sing and dance as well as this... if not better. never have i missed studio enhancement so much. miley is so bad i don't know how she deludes herself into thinking she sounds good.

on the other hand, i saw a live performance of lady gaga and she really can sing. it was when she did "speechless" for that royal performance thing. she really did a nice job. in this performance, she sits at an elevated piano and plays and sings. she also has a string section accompanying her. so, this really showed off her voice.

i haven't heard any other version of this particular song, so i don't know how it compares to the cd version (if she does that one the same way or if it's more electronic sounding).

i also saw some concert footage from a performance of paparazzi (besides the vma performance). it was really good although much more theatrical, of course.

Allen the Duck Guy said...

Miley Cyrus inherited her dad's talent...
Namely, none at all.