Thursday, June 17, 2010

cakes of wrath

dakota "cody" lohan, a.k.a. lindsay's youger brother, was born june 16, 1996. meaning that he just turned 14 and his mother, dina, was all set to celebrate  his birthday with his "favorite", an ice cream cake from carvel. i used quoties on favorite because dina was going to get this cake for free (or so she thought). of course, ice cream cakes are generally pretty tasty, so possibly it is his favorite.

dina pranced down to her local carvel's brandishing a special "black" card issued to ali lohan. i believe ali is in l.a. with lindsay and dina's antics were taking place in or near long island. in any case, ali was nowhere around when dina presented ali's card in lieu of money at the checkout. the store manager asked to see identification... and dina was insulted.

 the story varies between dina and carvel at this point.. dina claims the store manager seized her arm in one hand, her card in one hand, and called the police with yet another hand (or something like that). the police reponded, according to dina, with FOUR cop cars and a helicopter. commenters on different sites have said some of this had nothing to do with dina.. there was a (non-lohan) criminal on the loose in that area. some also say the helicopter was headed to a hospital, idk, but the commenters have more plausible stories.

dina claims the store manager refused to give her the card. finally, the police officer got him to hand back the card (this doesn't make the card magically useful if carvel doesn't want it to be). she says the manager told her, "you can have the card, but you can't have the cake." (i guess she didn't try offering $$ for the cake.)

dina lamented to radar, "you can see how we're treated worse than regular people." yes, i have to say, when i go once per day to carvel on my neighbor's card to buy ice cream cake for the entire local middle school, they give me that free ice cream and thank me for my business... oh wait, no that never happened. mostly because there's no carvel's around here, but also if i did such a thing i would have to put forward $$$$$. in fact, if i went only once and got the smallest item on the menu, i'd still have to put forth $. from what i've read that's how stores work.

dina said that when ali gets back in town she will take her to carvel every day for a month! i guess to punish carvel for only sometimes giving clan lohan free ice cream? who knows.

carvel's version is the store decided not to honor the card. in fact, they were going to confiscate it. this seems a bit harsh, but in a statement issued by a company spokesperson, carvel explains that the cards issued to ali and lindsay have been greatly abused... even though the cards for free ice cream are only supposed to be used by the person named on the card, they were often used by lohan family and friends. they were getting way more free ice cream than carvel wanted to give away. no word on how much this was, but i get the impression it was a lot.

only 75 carvel black cards were handed out for their 75th anniversary. the cards give the person named free ice cream for 75 years. i suppose they hoped to recoup their ice cream cost in publicity. but i can't think of any association between clan lohan and carvel until now. i've seen photos of them in millions of milkshakes, but not carvel.

according to carvel's spokesperson, dina made the 911 call. i'm not sure why, but i get the idea she wanted the police to insist carval give her a free cake. even though the police did get ali's card back, from what carvel said, it doesn't work any more. i wonder how many more times they'll have to explain that to dina?

after all, dina claims everyone in the family has a card and she didn't think it would be a "big deal" to use ali's card because instead of her own (non-existant) card. she says, "it's a family card."

carvel says that the lohans not named lindsay or ali, when using the cards, were told the rules. however, up to now, presumably, they have allowed the cards to be used. i really can't see dina listening to anything like that. of course, she's at a bit of a disadvantage. if mlo (aka, pa lohan) decides to try to use one all he has to do is bring one of his girlfriends who look like lindsay. not being a lesbian, dina can't possibly have a girlfriend who looks like lindsay.

i am not sure whether cody got that cake or not. i guess he probably got a cake of some sort, but who can say. dina is the one who expected lindsay to become the family breadwinner the first time mlo got sent to the pen. still, michael jr., nana, and the uncle who was hit with the shoe all should be lurking around somewhere... surely one of them can figure out how to get a birthday cake. or maybe dina just figured out someone else she could hit up for a free cake... or maybe she just pulled out one of the many carvel cakes she has stowed in her freezer.


Allen the Duck Guy said...

And people wonder why Lindsey drinks so much?!?

shampoo said...

really. I think a lot of the things people get pissed at lindsay for are done by dina. not everything, but two annoying people are worse than one. haha