Saturday, September 11, 2010

cat people (1982) are you kidding me?

this is going to be nothing but spoilers because i do not even have the patience for this. so, if you don't want to know EVERYTHING about what happens at the end... don't say i didn't warn you.

i was going to do this right with cast, etc. but, i do not even care. if imbd cannot get the freaking story right, no one cares. imbd says people sacrificed their women to the leopards. NO, they sacrificed their CHILDREN. i just saw the fking movie and you wait a damned long time to find that out. so, i was paying close attention to the explanation for the fuckery on the screen.

also, the cat people are incestuous. only, one brother and sister get separated by circumstances and, they basically stay separated. there's also a character named "female" i shit you not. she's not a cat person though. their names are irena and paul. but, the screenwriter couldn't figure out what to do with irena, so why should female get a regular name? fuck her. she's just randomly left in prison anyway.

so our catperson female irena does not want to accept her heritage of brother fucking and shape shifting and eating the occasional person. she resists until she's left without much choice in the matter because (oops!) no more brother.

so, she goes to this dude who is all in love with her after a week of her acting mostly weird (he doesn't get out much). and after he finds out without a doubt she's, in fact, a cat person... he decides to CAPTURE her. she's in human form at the time he ties her up, so that makes it somewhat easier. how he gets her from his bedroom on the bayou to the zoo, i have no clue. but, gets her there he does because that's where she is when we last see her! in a cage at the zoo. lovely.

all right.. letting that go on by... new orleans takes pretty calmly the fact they're suddenly overrun with leopards. first one turns up in a whore house (hey, cats have needs). he maxes and relaxes in the zoo until he kills a dude thus allowing him to open the fucking cage his own damn self and go home. oh, everyone looks around a lot, but since he lives in a house like most people... well.. it takes a while. but, they are able to put together sort of an explanation for that... which, i guess is why female is in jail.

then, barely has everyone gotten over that weirdness, then zookeeper boy shows up with another one! and it cannot be the first one found again because it's not the same gender animal. w.t.f. i guess when you run an old ass zoo and someone "finds" a major exhibit animal, you just go with it?

this is supposed to be a sexay movie. well, there's a goodly amount of nudity... and some sex scenes (some of which do not end well, to put it mildly). but, it seemed more creepy than anything else to me. given it's a HORROR movie, well duh. shampoo knows little of what people consider sexy, but the thought of being tied up by some dude to live out my natural life in a cage on exhibit in the zoo does not get it for me. i do think this may have been the first tied up girl sex scenes, but i got distracted by her feet. i swear, look at them. some people should wear shoes. maybe if you identify with the guy? he sort of gets two girls, after all. and he fixes the problem with sex... kinda. well, for him. i guess if you asked irena she might say something different, if she could talk that is.

i listed the cast i can remember. sorry for any mistakes.


Allen the Duck Guy said...

I've seen this movie. It had a few places where it was good, but overall it wasn't very good. It really does take itself too seriously. I've always thought it took its "psychological thriller" aspect too far. The movie should have been about people that freakin' turn into cats and freakin' eat people. It should ahve been more like The Ghost and the Darkness, but with shapeshifters. I mean, it's a horror movie that is trying to go for the disturbing tag, and fails to scare or disturb. It's even a little boring.

I like the original b&w Cat People much better, even though it featured far fewer breasts (though Annette O'Toole's are nice, I feel weird thinking Mrs. Martha Kent is sexy, lol). If you haven't seen it, it's well worth hunting down.

And I really don't think tying up and caging is very sexy either, lol.

shampoo said...

i have seen the b&w version, but it was a very long time ago so i don't really remember it. but, i remember i liked it.

what they did wrong was kill off the cat played by an actual actor.

i was going to post photos, but every photo of natassaji kinski i can find she has the same expression on her face. i can't tell when in the movie it even is in some cases. and most of the photos are of her. so, it was kind of pointless.

the one photo i really wanted, i can't find. but, she's wearing a dress with a red scarf (that doesn't match the dress). BLOODLINE? (it's when she finds out about her bloodline, so i think you're supposed to get that.)

what did you think of that fked up church with the green lights outside and the weird rainbow new age freaky interior design? w.t.f. was that? it was only in one scene, it's where paul "works" and irena went there to find him, but he wasn't there.

annette o'toole's character is named alice.