Sunday, July 11, 2010

deadliest warrior: vlad tepes vs. sun tzu

so, dracula has finally shown up on deadliest warrior. you know they've been waiting with baited breath to do this one. i'm a bit surprised as sun tzu has his match-up. maybe it would have been more interesting to put alexander the great vs. sun tzu. then maybe genghis khan vs. vlad tepes?

the most interesting thing about this episode was i learned something very, very important. there really IS something called a "hand cannon." i always just thought that was a slang term for a large caliber pistol. but, come to find out, there actually IS a hand-held cannon! and it even has a hook on it so you can use it to clobber enemies in melee combat. which you will be in if you fail to kill your foe with the hand cannon because it takes about a minute to reload.

i have really gotten sun tzu's weapons a bit confused with the ming warriors they had the next episode fighting the french musketeers. both of these episodes showed highly creative weapons which are quite destructive. however, when your enemy has iron armor as well as firearms, they have an incredible advantage. so, both sun tzu and the ming warriors lost. but, at least the musketeers did not use the same method of celebration of victory that dracula did in the sketch. (wince)


Allen the Duck Guy said...

This episode surprised me because so much of Vlad Dracul's tactics were based on psychological intimidation and the DW program doesn't seem to have a 'Morale Roll' (even though D&D did 40 years ago).
Still, the guys testing Dracul's weaponery were douchey and I was rooting for the Sun Tzu testers.

shampoo said...

there seems to be a lot of things their program doesn't really measure. it shouldn't be only the weapons. granted, you can't have people with swords fighting people with machine guns, but if you're testing people with reasonably comparable technology, the training, abilities, goals, etc. of various types of fighters makes a huge difference. height, weight, and reach makes a huge difference. attitudes toward fighting makes a huge difference.. there are so many things.

vlad tepes fought against people who used slaves as part of their army. so, his tactics worked extremely well, but would the same tactics work against someone like sun tzu who motivated the troops under his command and innovated new ways to make the most of their abilities. maybe it wouldn't have made a difference in the outcome due to the difference in weapons' technology, but it needed to be address.

i think sun tzu's testers were correct, he wouldn't have turned back due to psychological intimidation. that might have motivated him to fight even harder. if vlad tepes had realized that someone of sun tzu's caliber was his opponent, he probably would have developed different types of tactics.

Allen the Duck Guy said...

Well,the fact is that armies use those weapons that scare them most against their enemies. The Persians used torture and terrorism as weapons (I guess some things never change) and Vlad learned all he knew from them.

Essentially, Persians are cowards. That's why they fight their wars the way they do- massive numbers of slaves in overrun tactics, attacks on non-combatants, retreating from any significant threat to hide in caves, etc. Vlad knew his tactics would work well on the custard spines of Persia because he learned all he knew from them.

Contrast that with Asians, who historically have proven that only an atomic weapon can intimidate them into submission. They are not cowardly by any objective definition. I don't think Vlad's tactics would have worked on them at all. And, of all of the Asian leaders, I think Sun Tzu would have been the least intimidated. He would simply have constructed a tactic that would work against Vlad. Okay, so Oda Nobunaga would probably have been less intimidated (more thrilled to find a kindred soul), but still...

shampoo said...

that's what i mean. idk what dracula would have done, but if he could, when he saw his opponents were not going to stop fighting just because of his creepy impalment forest, he might have thought of something else.

of coure, the main thing that works against asians is dealing death fast and hard (e.g., the atom bomb does this, but there are other methods). so basically, you defeat them, i guess. they don't usually run off in fear.

some people did run from nobunaga, from what i understand, but he was scarier than dracula and those people may have lost the ability to fight (such as lost weapons or possibly even limbs).

sun tzu's disadvantage is his armor and weapons are not made of steel like dracula's. so, his troops would be at a disadvantage no matter how well they fought. idk if it's possible to win with so much inferior technology. (as in i really do not know). possibly... i guess it depends on how many people are fighting. but, probably, he would have noticed this and withdrawn until he could upgrade his equipment. if he didn't know the difference exactly, he could simply capture some stuff (take it from the dead, if need be) for examples.

so, i guess in a way, i see them both withdrawing and replanning their strategies rather than just rushing into battle to let the chips fall where they may.