Friday, September 19, 2014

Goodbye Tropical Storms

Tropical Storms was Briar Storms a.k.a. Briar Theelsmom. She was a wonderful person who put her own life in danger to help animals. She put an end to the barbaric practice of using rabbits (REAL rabbits) at greyhound races. She also was part of an investigation that made dog fighting a felony in all fifty states.

I knew her online only. She was really a great person. She did not talk about herself that much so few people online knew she was sick. I didn't know. So, I was absolutely shocked to learn she had died.

Rest in peace, Tropical Storms. You will be missed so, so much. Thank you for all your work for animals, especially rabbits.

FANFIC: Mrs. Wendy Hamburgerlar

disclaimer! I do not own Wendy's, McDonald's, Burger King or any of their respective copyrights, trademarks, logotypes or patents.

 Dave and Wendy Thomas are real people. This fic is not about them AT ALL.
Wendy Thomas and her father Dave Thomas. Real people connected to the actual Wendy's restaurant. This fanfic is not about them. Did you know Dave Thomas was a veteran of the Korean War?  Well, he was.
Here is another important thing to know about Wendy's. They have changed their logo. The original logo was based on a photo of Wendy Thomas taken when she was eight years old. The new logo is supposed to look older. IDK if it is still supposed to look like Wendy Thomas at all, maybe. But, here are the logos.

 Now for McDonald's logos. It has been a long time since there has been any connection to a family and the restaurant. So, I'll include some of their characters.

And since Burger King gets mentioned, here's their logo.

O.k., further disclaimer... I don't like hamburgers all that much, so I don't have strong feelings about the burgers offered by these restaurants. To each their own.


Hi. My name is Wendy and I am a ginger. Maybe you've eaten in my dad's restaurants. He's really great at making burgers and at business. Since I love my dad and I love burgers, that's great. I spend a lot of time there. It's called Wendy's. (Surprise.)

But, we're not the only burger joint on the block. One of our main competitors is allegedly run by this clown named Ronald. Ronald McDonald. Hey, here's some insider info... the clown has nothing to do with the burger. Crazy, I know. I think he's the brother in law of the guy who makes the burgers, but I've never asked.

For some reason, McDonald's has this weird fan club going with all kinds of chracters. They're probably just friends of Ronald's now that I think about. All I know is there are quite a few of them. I see them around. Being in the trade, I even met a few.

But, there was one mysterious figure that caught my eye. I have to say, I was intrigued.

About all I knew about him was he really, really loves hamburgers. He loves them enough to risk his neck to eat them. He's the bad boy of McDonald's.

The trick was meeting him. He was fast on his feet and didn't let the grass grow under him. But, I knew his weakness. And I had a not-so-secret weapon: our burgers are better than McDonald's.

We met on neutral turf. The Burger King parking lot. The King himself presided. Nice guy, a little too old for me.

We hung around, all of us, for hours until he showed up. Ronald was juggling flaming apple pies and everyone except me was staring at the pies.

I saw him the minute he came in and he saw me. Not breaking eye contact for even a second, he walked straight to me.

"I heard you were askin' about me," were the first words he ever spoke to me.

"Maybe," I replied.

"Maybe nothing," he told me. "You," he pointed at me, "have been asking about me," he pointed at himself.

I tried for cool, but my cheeks were aflame--and nobody shows a blush like a ginger. So, I just shrugged.

"Let's get out of here," he said. He turned and walked away. He didn't check to see if I was following, but I was. I was right behind him.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

FANFIC: Shorca

In response to a request that I create a crossover fanfic between Jaws and Orca: The Killer Whale focusing on a relationship between the shark from Jaws and the main orca from Orca: The Killer Whale, I present this little work offanfiction. I do not own Jaws nor do I own Orca: The Killer Whale. I am making no money off this piece work. The two whale swam together, leaping in unison. Even humans could tell they were a pair. Those of a more romantic frame of mind might even say they were in love. Although few people knew it, whales lived about as long as humans. What was known was that whales traveled in family/social groups known as 'pods'. It was suspected by a few scholars that whales mated for life. Neptune and Persephone fell in love gradually. But when they committed to one another completely, their love was inspirational among all sea mammals. The entire pod was awaiting the birth of their calf. A fisherman had come to realize that catching even one orca could bring him more money than an entire season of regular fishing. He began to study orcas. Neptune and Persephone caught his eye. One fateful day he managed to catch Persephone. In her pain and fear, she miscarried her calf. The fisherman cut her down, but it was too late.
Neptune pushed his bride to the beach and he mourned. Then, he sought bloody vengeance upon the hapless fools that tore her from his side. His long hunt completed, he slipped back into the icy depths and returned to his pod. Yet, as the seasons passed, he became more acutely aware of her absence. The other whales' gentle attempts at consoling him only made him lonelier. He began to swim a little outside the pod where he could be alone with his memories. He knew this was wrong of him. The summer he finally took a break from his family pod--the first break since his revenge on Persephone's murderer--a shark became big news in the ocean. She seemingly had declared war on a touristy coastal town. When Neptune finally caught up to the shark, he was truly amazed. She was the largest shark he'd ever seen. She wasmenancing the humans in a way he hadn't seen since his own vendetta. He waited until after she finished laying waste to a boat serendipitously named ORCA. Neptune was a bit nervous. He'd eaten a few sharks, but never really talked to one. Charmingly, this one was named Megan. "Did these humans incur your wrath?" Neptune enquired. "What? Well, they kept throwing barrels at me, but other than that.. no..." Megan replied. "Not only these on the boat, but the ones in town?" Neptune pressed for more details. "Oh... them," Megan swam past once, twice, three times. "I guess I don't have anything against them." "But...but... you've been eating them all summer. It's the talk of this side of the ocean." "Really?" a trace of pride crept into Megan's voice. "I had no idea! I've been so busy." "Truly," Neptune replied. "Oh, well. I was just hungry. I kind of eat lots," said Megan, snagging a passing fish. "Oh, sorry. Did you want toeat him?" She continued to swim. "No, I'm good," replied Neptune. Megan stopped swimming for a split second. "You're not going to eat ME are you?" Neptune surfaced, laughed, took a deep breath, then resubmerged. "No. I'm not going to eat you, Noble Shark. I, too, have killed many humans." "Really?" Megan sounded intrigued. "I didn't think you guys--I mean orcas--did that." "They're not our preferred diet, no," said Neptune. "But, you did eat them?" asked Megan. "Some of them," replied Neptune. "Some of them were not worth eating." "Too skinny or wearing too many clothes?" asked Megan. "Well, I guess a little of both, but I didn't think about it at the time," replied Neptune. "Sounds like this was in the winter, then," said Megan. "summer makes humans taste totally different." "It does?" Neptune was interested despite himself. "Oh, yes!" Megan was still swimming. "They put delicious oil on themselves. It makes them slide down much easier, too." "You don't say..." replied Neptune. Though he was a bit skeptical. He'd seen oil. it was nasty. "Not the oil like the ships are always spilling," said Megan, sensing his thoughts. "Ugh. I mean, I might still eat them, but that doesn't sound good. No, this oil tastes like coconus." "Coconuts?" asked Neptune. "Oh, I forgot. You tend to stay in cold waters, don't you?" "Yes, that's true," allowed Neptune. "Well, coconuts are these round plant things. They don't look very good, to be honest. But, I'll try anything once," Megan giggled and ate two more fish. "turns out, they taste good." "Why are all these fish even swimming near us?" asked Neptune, eating one so Megan wouldn't feel awkward. "They're curious," replied Megan. "About what?" "Why, what we're talking about, naturally." "Is that so fascinating to fishkind?" asked Neptune. "Well, maybe," said Megan. "If we both stay in these waters." "I see." "Hey!" said Megan, swimming faster in her excitement. "I have a great idea!" "Does it involve coconuts?" asked Neptune. "It does!" exclaimed Megan. "Why don't you try some summer humans?" "They're really that different?" "You tell me," called Megan as she began to swim toward Anity Beach. Pausing to take another deep breath, Neptune followed her. It is a testament to the human species' determinaation to forget important events that any humans ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of North America after the first day Megan and Neptune spent together. It turns out, Megan was right. Coconut suntan oil does greatly improve the taste of humans and everyone on Amity Beach seems to have slathered themselves with the stuff immediately before going in to the water. At first, people didn't know what to think when they saw the tall, black dorsal fin of a full-grown male orca beingcircled by the distinctive fin of a shark. Some people thought it had to be a prank. Orcas and sharks didn't travel together and neither seemed to be attacking the other. The previous days in Amity had taught Megan well. She picked off her first couple of humans far from the beach. She did it quickly, so they'd have no time to panic and warn the other prey. She was just about to swallow her third humans when Neptune grabbed the other endmof the same person. They stopped when they bumped noses. It was the best tasting human Megan had ever consumed. "Sorry," said Neptune. "I just wanted to try one." "oh," Megan would have blushed if she could have. "Don't apologize. I got carried away and just started eating people. I forgot to save any for you." "That's quite all right," said Neptune. "I believe there are at least a few more humans we could try. "Oh, good," said Megan with much sincerity. "I eat kind of a lot, you know." "Yes, I understand. I have a robust appetite myself," replied Neptune. then he added, "And you're quite right. Summer does make humans taste better." After their feast, Megan and Neptune swam back into the open sea. Megan continued to munch on fish near constantly while Neptune told her about Persephone. And why he'd attacked and killed so many humans. megan said that if she could cry, this would make her cry. Since she could not cry, she promised to eat extra humans as revenge for Persephone. The next day, Neptune convinced her to try another beach. He was beginning to feel protective of her and he knew humans could dole out punishment if you ate enough of them. Before he knew it, summer was over. "I would usually go to warmer water now," Megan said one day. "But, I don't want to go." "Why not, darling Megan?" asked Neptune. "Well, this is warm water for you--right?" she asked. "It is," replied Neptune. "But, it is becoming colder. We could go further south and find water that is about the same temperature as it was here when I arrived." "Oh, what a wonderful idea!" Megan swam in quick, happy circles. "It might not be quite as far south as you usually go," cautiond Neptune. "As long as I'm with you, I'll be warm," replied Megan. So, they swam south together, the orca and the shark, to feast of humans, fish, and anything else that looked tasty.